Josh Gad
Spoiler Alert
[BIRDIE, spoken]
You see, there's rules to being a narrator...
But the most important is that one. It's kind of the grandmama of all the rules
You can't tell someone in the story anything about where the story is going. Even if you know some juicy stuff

[sung]
There's so much I want to say but I can't interfere
And, boy, the plot's about to get good. Or will it?
In just a few the story will shift into gear
I can't say how—but wow, if I could, I'd spill it

Still, it's a secret
And I should keep it
So I won't spill it
But I can bleep it

Spoiler alert
Bleep's gonna bleep and bleep will start bleeping
Spoiler alert
Bleep and bleep, bleep and then the plots deepen
Of course there's a bleep when they bleep
And sorry, I don't mean to blurt
But, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep will bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep and so
Spoiler alert

[spoken]
Whew! I bleeped myself so I didn't give anything away because I bleeped. So good job, me
[sung]
The guy with the paint's gonna— Whoops, I can't say
And Owen will soo— No, can't tell ya, but hey
Family's destiny comes into play
Which leads to— Well, let me just put it this way

Spoiler alert
La la la la—try this, you won't hear it
Spoiler alert!
It's— Never mind, and there goes the rhyme scheme
But trust me, it's truly delish; I wish I could dish all the dirt
Too late, anyhow, 'cause the story starts now and so
Spoiler alert