[GRIFFIN, spoken]
Oh, hey there! I'm your new narrator. Wanna hear a story about a park?
Hey, hey, shush—don't be scared

You're with a pro now
You're with the best
A guy with know-how
A guy who's well dressed
I know it's hard to comprehend the level of quality you're seeing
But I can make this very simple for you

[sung]
You deserve to be in
First-class hands
That's right, I said, first-class hands
You've been distracted by a dude who's been uprooting the whole plot
I'm not trying to be rude but there's no way in hell he's got a pair of

First-class hands
Don't you wanna be in first-class hands
See the last guy sort of missed the mark
It's why I'm here to take your through Central Park
In first-class hands

[BIRDIE, spoken]
Hi, excuse me. What are you doing here, Griffin?
[GRIFFIN, spoken]
Oh, hey, buddy. Yeah, so you got fired
I have two words for you

[BIRDIE, spoken]
I'm leaving?

[GRIFFIN, spoken]
Free will

[BIRDIE, spoken]
Can I guess again? I was gonna say free will

[GRIFFIN]
Birdie, Birdie
You dirty little thing
You could've stayed
You could've made your little ukulele sing

[BIRDIE, spoken]
It's a fiddle

[GRIFFIN]
But you just had to blow it
Had to interfere
And the next thing you know
It's over and I'm here
[BIRDIE, spoken]
But, Griffin, if in fact I got involved
Don't you think my selfless act just might have solved it?

[GRIFFIN]
They gotta make their own decisions
We just get to watch
There's no room for new revisions
Unless you wanna botch it

They need first

[BIRDIE, spoken]
Okay, constructive criticism

[GRIFFIN]
Class

[BIRDIE, spoken]
Yeah, I can take a note. I got it now

[sung]
Han—

[GRIFFIN]
Hand—
Hands
[BIRDIE]
From now on, I'll give them
First-class hands

[GRIFFIN, spoken]
No, Birdie—Birdie, listen to me. No. Ugh

[sung]
You've all been shackled to a chaperone
Who needs to take a hike
I could end this cute toe-tapper
Only, wait
Who doesn't like when I sing?

First-class hands

[BIRDIE]
I get it now
I'll give them first-class hands

[GRIFFIN]
A professional who understands

Just sit back, enjoy the music
I've played with three different Coachella bands

[BIRDIE, spoken]
Ah, that is impressive

[GRIFFIN]
With these first
Class, chorus and verse
Class, so well rehearsed
Class, once met Fred Durst
Class

[BIRDIE, spoken]
Oh really, Durst? When was that

[GRIFFIN, spoken]
It was years ago. It was at a Barnes & Noble

[sung]
Why have the worst
When you can have first-class
First-class hands

[spoken]
So, you should go

[BIRDIE, spoken]
Right, like motivational. Like, "go girl!"
Thank you—here I go