[OWEN]
This morning everything was going great
Woke up on top of it all
Honestly, I didn't see that I would fall

Flash-forward and I really cannot overstate
How totally my ship went down
And now my son might run me out of town

I'd love to change what I have done
But I don't have that kind of control
Failed Father Island, here I come
Where I'll eat only sand and poop in a hole

I thought I was a genius
But it turns out I just a dumb dad
A *raspberry* on a scale of one to ten

Why didn't I foresee this?
I ruined this day and now I'm sad
Please, can we do today again?

[PAIGE]
Hello, today is going great
Knock wood, I'm on top of it all
Honestly, I never expected this windfall
At home, my heart began to palpitate
Wasn't sure how this would go down
I fully thought my ship would run aground

My daughter's a badass chess-machine
And I've never been more proud
I'm as giddy as a mom could be
But now I'm not afraid to say aloud

I guess I'm a genius
A mom who puts other moms to shame
A "hell yeah" on a scale of one to ten

Bow down before my queen-ness
I will check every mate in every game
Please, can we do today again?

[BOTH & OWEN & PAIGE]
I wanna unsay The winner is here
So much of today for mom of the year
I wanna have a chance to replay I'll take my crown
I wanna do over and rose bouquet
Don't make much ado over This feels pretty great
Don't wanna stew over so why not just celebrate
The surprise that was today
So call me a genius
A mom
A dad
On top of the game
A "whoo" A *raspberry* On a scale of one to ten
I want to decree this
A day to put in the hall of shame fame
Please, can we do today again?