[Verse 1]
What'd you expect?
Some magic for free
A conjurin' spell
Wine into tea
I'll do what I can
But magic's not cheap
And no one's as good
A wizard as me

[Pre-Chorus]
Dragon in your yard, a haunted bidet
When it comes to magic you get what you pay

[Chorus]
So empty out your coffers and
Give me all your gold (Give me all your gold)
I'll take care of your problems
If you do what you're told (Do what you're told)
I'm on call for kings and queens
Royalty young and old
So cough up, bud, I need money

[Outro]
(I need your money)
(Please, I need your money)
(I know all the spells)
(I'm a very good wizard)
(Please)