[Intro]
Two real cool, the dusty duo!
What are their character traits?
Ignorant - uhh, dullwitted - uhh
Lazy - uhH! And unlucky - UGHHH!
Exactly~! Exactly what I'm looking for

[Verse 1: Billy Woods]
Shoot the pilot on the cheap, script him spelling
Two colored guys who hate police in the whip
Honeydew melon, one's a loveable freak
The other has a thing for white women
I'm telling you this is what you selling!
Take Dukes of Hazzard uptown
People love goodhearted felons
You need a love interest?
I'll get you a Pam Grier lookalike in stilletos and ponytail
It doesn't get better than this
TNA never fails, first rule of showbiz
We can have her run a neighborhood bar
We can whip up a funky score
One brother's just back from the war
Streetwise, jive talk
Afro parted on the side When he pimp walk
Fuzzy dice in the ride
Slick enough to always slide
The other's educated, glasses, articulate
Blazer and sweater vest, menthol cigarette
Columbia undergrad, he got kicked out for leading nonviolent protest
Don't worry, the plot's light on black power
Heavy on powerful pot
Corrupt cops, mulatto broads
Brawls in Harlem nightspots
Studio 54 heart of gold whores
Junkies, stoolies
Ricans with switchblades, dagos with gold chains
And toolies sellin smack to moolies-
That's all episode one
Episode two, car chases in Chinatown
All of a sudden the brothers know kung-fu
Maybe down South fightin racists
Yeah I think I smell ratings
Let's talk papers (na na na I heard this all before)
[Outro]
It's a thing of the past
Guess I've never really dug DEEP, into my pain as a negro
Hey look, those things, they're they're hard to look at sometimes
Yes

Hi, I'm Donna Mills!
Also known as Abby Cunningham from Knotts Landing
Welcome to CBS' Happy New Year America
I am just thrilled to be here in Times Square
In new York City for tonight's celebration