*snores*
*wakes up*
*coughs*
The fuck?
Oh my god, what the fuck. How long have I been asleep?
*groans*
Fuckin' black out curtains dude, every time. Like- fuckin' turn on my phone, see what the fuck I missed

[Reviews on Phone]
1 Trait Danger crowned the shittiest artist of the last couple years
1 Trait Danger stays true to their album name, with "Softmore Slump"
1 Trait Danger provides a new genre of music that no one asked for
1 Trait Danger nominated for a Grammy in honor of breaking up and doing everyone a fucking favor

*phone rings*

[Chris Lombardi over the phone]
Hey this is Chris Lombardi. Uh, just wanted to chat. I heard somеthing about you guys breaking up? You've got a contract so that's not happening

[Reviews]
An opinion piеce: 1 Trait Danger is the reason I was bullied

[Chris Lombardi]
Me and the boys are REALLY excited to hear what you got. I think it's gonna blow a lot of people's minds

[Reviews]
1 Trait Danger, my boss asked me to write this
[Chris Lombardi]
So just call me back and let me know when you got something. And if you don't, I'm gonna come to your house and I'm gonna fucking kill you