[Tim Schenectady]
1 Trait Danger? That dumb fuckin' band is getting back together? That band makes horseshit. Tommy, get in here! Grab this big pen out of my hand, and start-start writing this down, with a-with a big pen: "1 Trait Danger, Worst Band of the Decade, Reunites, Terrible, This is Terrible"

[Thomas]
That's really the headline, sir? That's what you want me to write down here?

[L]
Goddammit, Tommy, I don't pay you to ask questions, I pay you to write with this very large pen

[T]
D'you still want me to adjust the score you gave, uh, Fiona Apple's last album?

[L]
What, you mean "Bring in the Trash Can"? What are you talkin' about, I gavе that so-that album a-a solid 9

[T]
Sir, you gave the album a nine out of hundrеd. We kind of adjusted the scoring rubric, from tens to a hundred, about nine months ago, there was-there was a few emails about it

[L]
...Yeah! You're goddamn right we did, and that's... that's why I gave that f-shitty album a nine. The score stays, Tommy. Listen up, the score stays, but I th-I think we wrote a pretty positive review, so that's-that's gonna have to change

[T]
Uh sir, I-I'd hate to bring this up again, th-there were also a couple of emails about this, but my name's actually Thomas, sir

[L]
Yeah, that's what I called you: Tommy
[T]
Uh... no, Th-Thom-Thomas, not Tommy sir

[L]
Yeah, I see it on your nametag right there: T-H-O-M-A-S, Tommy. What are you, fuckin' dumb? You idiot

[Steven]
Sir, you gotta come quick! We got wind that Kevin Parker is eating a tuna fish sandwich, downtown Melbourne!

[L]
Oh my God, Kevy's eating tuna in Melbourne?! Your-You gotta get down there right now! You gotta get on the first fuckin' plane to Melbourne, and you gotta-f, you gotta l-get pictures of him eating this, this is a big story, Stevie!

[S]
Sir, my name is actually Steven, sir!

[L]
GODDAMMIT STEVIE, I DON'T GIVE A SHIT! GET DOWN THERE! Y'know what, I'm comin' with ya! T-Tommy, you go-you gotta write this review, I'm-I'm headin' out

[T]
So what, I just write all these reviews into full reviews, or-

[L]
Yeah yeah yeah, just do what y-whatever you have to do. I'm not the reviews guy, let the interns do that shit