[WARREN, spoken]
So

[DEB, spoken]
So
Do you have my b–

[WARREN]
I think this is sort of neat

[DEB, spoken]
What?

[WARREN]
You and I
Here
To meet
It’s about as precious as precious can get
I mean, look, we’re both here
And we’ve met at the Met!

[DEB, spoken]
Listen, are you gonna–

[WARREN]
Anyway
Ever since I found your book
I have pictured this moment
[DEB, spoken]
Really?

[WARREN, spoken]
Uh-huh

[DEB, spoken]
Wow

[WARREN]
I imagined me, standing here with Monet for a while
And then you stumbling in, but with more of a smile
Yes
Well
In my head, we hug
And our friendship sets sail
Like an almost
Not quite
New York
Sort of
Fairy tale

[DEB, spoken]
Don’t touch me

[WARREN]
I sensed from your notebook
Your fiery nature
Your penmanship crackles with rage
[DEB, spoken]
What?

[WARREN]
Well, your handwriting’s wonderfully
Hard to decipher
But, boy, does it conjure you right off the page!

[DEB, spoken]
Wait, you read my no–

[WARREN]
Your lack of hesitation
Your violent punctuation
Yes, I knew right away you’d be someone to meet
It’s not every day I’m convinced so completely
But something is telling me
We’re on the trail
Of a semi
Could be
Quasi
Sort of
Fairy tale

[DEB, spoken]
Listen, I have a very important meeting–
[WARREN]
This moment could be
Like a scene from a movie
Two hapless strangers
United by fate

[DEB, spoken]
Yes, I–

[WARREN]
And since I think real lives
Make the best kind of movies
I’ve always said
“Warren, just wait
Give yourself over to fate...
And soon, without warning, your life’s gonna start
One stroke at a time, like a great work of art."
And now you being here
I think this could unveil a
Perfect
Lasting
Warren
Sort of–

[DEB]
LOOK
I don’t mean to be a buzzkill, but...
Here is something you should know
I have wasted half my morning
Coming here cause you're a
FUCKING WEIRDO
No
I will not lose my composure, cause
Yes, I’m a civil kind of girl
Ordinarily I take deep breaths
And count to ten
But right now
I’m so far from Zen
That frankly, there is nothing I can do
But tell you:
“Thanks for the waste of a day
And thanks for all this annoyance and strife
Yes, thanks for this waste of my time
And for making me a part
Of your waste of a life.”

(spoken)
I came here for my book, not some stupid weirdo and his stupid painting

[WARREN]
This painting reminds me
Of people like us
Thousands of tiny specks

[DEB, spoken]
Oh my God

[WARREN]
Huddled together
In random arrangements
That nobody expects
Every dot
On its own
Ordinary and pale
But thrown together
One by one
They make this
Dazzling
Joyous
Hopeful
Sort of...

(spoken)
Never mind

[DEB, spoken]
So, can I have my book?

[WARREN, spoken]
Oh. Right. Sorry

[DEB, spoken]
Oh, thank God! My Professor was not going to give me an extension because he’s like this Stalin of English lit who has yet to crack a smile in his life, and if I didn’t show up in his office today with these notes, my life would’ve been over!

[WARREN, spoken]
Okay

[DEB, spoken]
Oh. Um. Can I buy you a cup of coffee?

[WARREN, spoken]
Really?

[DEB, spoken]
You’re gay, right?

[WARREN, spoken]
Uh-huh

[DEB, spoken]
Twenty minutes