Christmas just ain't Christmas without cabbage
But my neighbor stole a glance last week
My menorah loses candles every day
It is getting lighter as we speak

It may seem so wrong to do such wrong
Here in this time of jubilation
It is holiday time
Forgive our holiday crime
It is time for reconciliation

Here’s to all the haters that don't beLIEVE
My presence is the present that you're gonna reCIEVE
Dancin’ down a chimney lickity SPLIT
The hearth ain't the only thing gettin' real LIT
Forget the cookies win I come IN
Put down the cardboard so I can SPIN
You ate too much ham, now you're in disTRESS
But there ain't no curing this IBS

[mouth bell sounds]

It is holiday time
Forgive our holiday crime
It is time for reconciliation
Jingle, jingle, oh shit