A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

Brian David Gilbert

"Shan’t He Shanty"

[Todd]:
Gather 'round friends
Pour out the grog
I’ll tell you all a story 'bout a dressed up log
My client threw a sailor off a steep ledge
But I really shouldn't say attorney-client privilege

[Group]:
Oh that Todd
Shan’t he shanty
Give another story in a drunken rant
We can't afford his lawyer-ly hourly rates
So we pay him drinks 'cause his stories are great

[Todd]:
My client was a pirate out on the high sea
Which gave him enough treasure so that he could pay me
Yes, the sea has it's rules, but it's different on land
And I'm the one you pay to read the lines in the sand

[Group]:
Oh that Todd
Shan't he shanty
Give another story in a drunken rant
We can't afford his lawyer-ly hourly rates
So we pay him drinks ’cause his stories are great

[Todd]:
What he thought was his friend was a dressed up plank
Don’t you know drift woodn't is an old pirate prank
But my client, he was mad, so in true pirate fashion
Pushed the prankster overboard in a crime of passion

[Group]:
Oh that Todd
Shan’t he shanty
Give another story in a drunken rant
We can't afford his lawyer-ly hourly rates
So we pay him drinks 'cause his stories are great

[Todd]:
See but all the while, the lone mer-butler
He's watching the crime as he cleans the cutlery
He plays a key role in this evening’s tale
By the way, who's buying me the next round of ale?

[Group]:
Oh that Todd
Shan't he shanty [Todd: I can't get enough of this stuff!]
Give another story in a drunken rant [Todd: Keep it going, Garson!]
We can't afford his lawyer-ly hourly rates
So we pay him drinks 'cause his stories are great

[Todd]:
Now you see, forming a jury is a tricky thing to do
When your only options are the pirates crew
So, I ended up going with Ben and Stan and Roger and Bonnie and Steve, Peg-leg Steve, oh and who could forget young Edgar the Brave
And Ol' Barley Joe was there, but I don't think he was actually part of the jury
Um, let me, uh

[Group]:
Oh that Todd [Todd: what was that, three?]
Shan't he shanty [Todd drunkenly mumbles]
Give another story in a drunken rant
We can't afford his lawyer-ly hourly rates [Todd: I honestly don't remember]
So we pay him drinks 'cause his stories are great

[Todd]:
Now, the trial's not going as well as I'd planned
And I was a lil worried as the merman slithered to the stand
But his language was, shall we say, the colorful sort
And that salty testimony is not permissible in court if you know what I mean

[Group]:
Oh that Todd
Shan't he shanty
Give another story in a drunken rant
We can't afford his lawyer-ly hourly rates
So we pay him drinks 'cause his stories are great

[Todd]:
So the evidence was stricken from the record, what a fate!
The jury took no time to deliberate
He could've gone to jail and gotten lice and (?)
But I got the bugger out on community service!

[Group]:
Oh that Todd
Shan't he shanty
Give another story in a drunken rant [Todd: another day in the life of ol' Todd]
We can't afford his lawyer-ly hourly rates [Todd: come on everyone, another round!]
So we pay him drinks 'cause his stories are great [Todd: Let's hear it, Todd, Todd, Todd]

[Todd]:
Todd!
That's me! They're chanting my name!

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #


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