[Intro]

[Mike]
Listen guys
We need a new song by tomorrow

[Brandon]
Uh...

[Mike]
I just produced this really fire beat
And we're just gonna spit over it

[Saverio]
Spit?
What do you mean spit?

[Brandon]
Spit what?

[Mike]
Yeah, just make stuff up
Freestyle

[Saverio]
Whoah whoah!
No no no no!
None of us know how to freestyle!
[Brandon]
No no no
Wait wait wait
I can't...
I...
Yeah I...

[Mike]
Look, it doesn't have to make sense!
Freestyle doesn't have to make sense
You can just make stuff up
And have it sound cool
Just do it
Go!
Brandon!
Get on it!

[Brandon]
Uh, okay...
Wait, me?
Oh shit!
Shit!
Okay...


[Verse 1: Brandon]
Ayo, it's Turnt Pollo on the track
Bass so hard
It make your titties fucking smack
And make her ribs shake
Call that bitch baby back
Her chest is so hot
It's like she got an oven rack
Jumpman
Super Mario can't even touch me
Padre hopped the border
Just to see the country
Murder every word
Then hang out with my homie Bundy
Chicken finger, french fries
Now I'm fucking hungry
Tryna eat some cake
Shawty got fat slices
Your girl got the sugar tits
But my girl got the spices
She preggers, but her nurse is hot
Call that a midwife crisis
All these economic bitches
Going down like gas prices
You so basic
I'm wondering how we gon' make it
We so underground, we in the basement
How we gon' make a dollar
When we don't even make cents?
My flow is a fluid
My hoe is a nudist
I'm going in stupid
And when I say stupid
I really mean stupid
As stupid as you is
'Cause none of this shit even makes sense
Psych nah!
I'm Einstein when I rhyme words
Got a scoliosis hoe
Hit her so hard from the back
That her spine hurts
[Verse 2: Saverio]
My turn!
Okay, time to give the people
What they paid for
My head's up in the clouds
And I'm about to make it rain
Like a motherfucking brainstorm
I'm hung low
I could trip and fall
On my dick and balls
I don't fuck around
I'm gung ho
Cause this girl's tits
Are to fricking large
'Bout to get the W
Racing way in front of you
Liquor was a hundred-proof
And I can feel it coming through
She was really freaky
Pussy stretching like elastic
Her sister's hips we twisters
But her tits were made of plastic
Her mom was not that hot
But you can bet I paper bagged it
Then I slammed her fucking granny
I don't care her tits were sagging
Faggot, your dick's lick a chapstick cap
My dick's like a Cadillac
It's 'bout to disappear inside her ass
Like it's a magic act
That's a fact, bitch
You can check the math, bitch
You can talk smack and call us whack
But three half wits adds up
To a genius and a half, bitch
She fat with a p-h
Titties jiggling in instant replay
But it's the time of the month
When her vagina runs bloody like D-Day
She getting naked on FaceTime
Showing me her black hole
Big enough to break space time
She's pretty cool
But she's always getting ridiculed
Because her personality
Is about as deep as a kiddie pool
[Verse 3: Mike]
Silly goose
We'll see how willing you are
To spill the truth
When I knock a couple fillings loose
And jump you like
The criminals in the city of Philly do
I'm limit-proof
With enough bass to make the ceiling move
But then the upstairs neighbors knock
And ask if I'm okay or not
Guess they forgot that to me
They're like a chamber pot
I give them shit like it's a paying job
The fit of rage I got
Was flaming hot
So I painfully filleted them on the spot
Seasoned them with Old Bay
And ate them hot
With a side of tater tots
Okay, maybe not
My imagination got the best of me
They didn't say a lot
Politely asked me to quiet down a bit
But never more in my life
Have I wanted to pound a bitch
Took a walk to get my head straight
Carry my body like dead weight
Legs scraping across the wet pavement
Thinking it's about time that I get laid
That's when I met a sex crazed redhead babe
Then to make in impression
I said hey
Suddenly she's on her knees
Tryna fellate
Salivating, wanna know how them breasts taste
Hoe you know that
I like it when you call me sensei
I'm karate chopping them titties
Bodies rocking, the bed shakes
Mollywhop her with my lollipop
Let's say I'm in a movie titled
"The Theory of My Gravitational Attraction To That Ass"
Starring Eddie Redmayne
Woke up the next day with a headache
She's already awake
Next to me in bed
Saying, "I'm in love with you honey-boo
I know you love me too
And I can't wait until our wedding day!"
And I'm like "Hold up a second!
Don't get ahead of yourself, wait!
I pro'lly can't explain
Whatever happened yesterday, but
Eh, fuck it
I might as well confess and say
That I was so focused on getting laid
I think that I forget your name."
Criminy sakes!
It was just a little mistake
But I didn't consider the stakes
Dumb bitch told me
This love shit isn't a game
Told her, "you're giving me shit
That I ain't gonna sit here and take
You're a little insane
And a literal pain in my ass!"
Uh oh
She went into a critical rage
Tryna intimidate me
I got chased into the garden
And hit with a rake
Speaking of chaste
I better stick with chastity
Scratch that actually, cause in reality
I'd happily smash it
I'm rapidly babbling at faster speeds
Battling gravity
HAL and me 'bout to flee from the galaxy
I'm a lyrical criminal
Got police coming after me
Cause I'm attacking a beat like a savage
'Till it's screaming in agony
I'm the king of the game
And I'm 'bout to harness all of my faculty
Like a battery
Until I spit a masterpiece