[Intro]

[Miss Wagner]
Good morning children!
My name is Miss Wagner!

[Kids]
Miss Wagner?
Who?
Who's that?

[Kid #1]
But where's Mr. Machula?

[Miss Wagner]
Mr. Machula had a long, hard di--
Uh... ahem... night
Regardless, he couldn't come to school
So today, I will be teaching
Your kindergarten class!

[Kids]
Yay!

[Miss Wagner]
So children
What have you been learning?
Colors? Math?
Manners?
[Kid #2]
Ooh!
Mr. Machula has been
Teaching us the alphabet!

[Kids]
Yeah! Play the alphabet song!
Play it! Yeah yeah yeah!

[Miss Wagner]
Oh! The alphabet song!
You mean like, A B C D E--

[Kids]
No! Oh no, not that one!

[Kid #1]
It's the CD on his desk

[Miss Wagner]
This one?
The one that says... Threest?

[Kids]
Yeah, play it!
Play it yay!
Alphabet!
[Miss Wagner]
O-kay...


[Verse 1]

[Mike]
A is for ass
And I get that daily

[Brandon]
B is for bitches
Hit and quit, no babies

[Saverio]
C me with a sweetie on my D

[Mike]
E is for effigy
Burning all these rappers
Like an F-ing G

[Brandon]
H is for haters
I don't care what they say
[Saverio]
I'm rolling like I authored Harry Potter
J-K

[Mike]
Latina ladies call me L pene grande

[Brandon]
Fuck bitches
Get money, kids

[3st]
Fuck what your moms say


[Chorus]

[3st]
It's the motherfucking alphabet, bitch
Turning up
Yeah the kindergarten's boutta get lit
Stacking blocks like bands
Got a Glock in my hand
Make it rain on them titties
All the kiddies sing it with me like

[3st & Kids]
It's the motherfucking alphabet, bitch
Turning up
Yeah the kindergarten's boutta get lit
Stacking blocks like bands
Got a Glock in my hand
That's it
It's the motherfucking alphabet, bitch


[Verse 2]

[Saverio]
M is for make that ass
Jiggle like jello

[Mike]
Do you respect your elders?
Let me hear you, kids

[Kids]
N-O

[Brandon]
When my P-P stands up
That's your Q, sexy
Girl, R you feeling thirsty
Like 3-S-T

[Saverio]
Smash U in your V
That's a fucking W
So forget about your X
'Cause now he's just other dude

[Mike]
All these dumb emcees
Don't know they ABC's
And that's Y I'm sleeping on them
Like Z-Z-Z


[Outro]

[Miss Wagner]
My goodness!
This is what Mr. Machula
Lets you listen to?

[Kid #2]
Yeah, we love it!
Alphabet, bitch!
Yeah, turn up!

[Miss Wagner]
Well, I will be having
A word with the principal
This music is a terrible influence on--

[Kid #1]
Hey Miss Wagner
What that mouth do?

[Miss Wagner]
Excuse me?

[Kid #3]
Yo guys
Let's gang bang the substitute!

[Kids]
Whoo! Yeah boy!
Yay!

[Miss Wagner]
Enough, enough!
I will not stand for this!

[Kid #3]
You don't have to stand
You'll be on your knees!

[Kids]
Oh shit!
Worldstar!
Ha ha ha ha!

[Miss Wagner]
This behavior is intolerable!
I am leaving!

[Kid #1]
Alright, she's gone
Who's got the weed?