[Intro]

[Mike]
Well that was fucking weird
Anyway, the cypher

[Brandon]
It's tradition that I open up the track...


[Verse 1: Saverio]
Actually Brandon
I think I’m attacking this track first
I know how this ends
Cause I skipped ahead
And read the final chapter
And it’s bout to be a disaster
If you try to step to the masters
I’ll run through you dicks like a catheter
And snap necks like chiropractors
So lemme know if you got any last words
Y’all are bout as soft as a fupa
Got a rock hard cock
Gon’ seduce a Medusa
I got Harry Potter bitches like
Expecto Patronum
Take em back to my dorm
And I go erecto-and-bone-em
You ain’t nothing special boy
You whack as all the others
Acting like a widdle baby
I’mma have to call your mother
I don’t fuck with sports
Basketball’s for suckers
I don’t play, but if I have to
I’ll just pass the ball to Tucker
I’m throwing a symposium
My homie Dionysus
Bout to bring some of the fam
Like Aphrodite and Poseidon
And then Hades brought The Fates
And all the Titans
Lames are all gon’ break me off
Like Drake did Josh
Cause they ain’t got invited
Critics call you rotten
I’m Hitchcock, and you’re Michael Bay
You wanna fight, esse?
I’ll give your ass more indents
Than a works cited page
Don’t get me wrong
As a person girl, you right as rain
But if you’re thinking that you might get laid
Don’t get excited babe
You got a better shot at
Making toast in a microwave
Hot girl with a tramp stamp tattoo
Plunge her while we fuckin’ in the bathroom
Told me to pull her angel hair
While I give her that
Meaty sauce like ragù
Run a mile on a track with me and sneeze
When I leave you in the dust like achoo
So far ahead that I’ll be on the podium
Toting the gold before you get to lap two
[Verse 2: Brandon]
Time’s up
Leave or you gon’ have to pay
A misdemeanor fine, bruh
You should see a doctor
You’re convincing me you’re
Tryna pass a kidney stone
Cause you’re so pissed at me
Mind fuck when I get as
Meta as this simile
I work
Spitting this heat with some energy
Flowing like thermodynamic laws
If you and The Rest Of The Robots
Believe you can hurt me
Go tell that to Asimov
Patience. I’m teasing you
Leave you hanging with anticipation
Like a...
...dramatic pause
She was tryna fuck and I’m like
“You had me at hello”
She was grinding my coffee beans
And I made her an espresso
Now she about to head home
On a train right out the Metro
And I know she’ll be coming back
Coming back
Coming back
Coming back like an echo
But I’m gone like Bruce Willis’ hair
Take em to my villainous lair
To cut em up and eat 'em
Rinse and repeat like I’m silverware
Not gon’ stop until the cheers fill the air
You’re so full of fluff and filler
That I could’ve made your ass at Build-A-Bear
At least then you’d have a heart bitch
I’ve been swerving in the fast lane
So long, I’m getting car sick
Eric Clapton on that ass
When I pull my hard dick
Back and forth across her G-string
Like a guitar pick
We make it clear that we’re the best
In every song we write
If you need me to I’ll draw it
On the cave wall for you troglodytes
We’re over your heads
Living Over The Hedge
With a flow that’s stellar like Wanda Sykes
Finish my verse
And then like the one in reggae
I’mma drop the mic
[Verse: Mike]
And when the Mike drops
Prepare to be scared of me
Cause somewhere in me is a hairy beast
So beware cause he’s looking for a square
That he can tear to pieces
This could end terribly if you dare proceed
You’re entering territory where you’ll be
Sweating in blaring heat with the severity
Of Katy Perry’s sweet bare physique
Buried 'neath kerosene
Until you melt like American cheese
It’s embarrassing that you airheads
Seem to think to you compare to me
When our similarities are so tiny
That I can barely see
Compared to the apparent heap of disparities
When I got my glasses on
I see this shit with 20/20 clarity
But y’all still tryna get it straight
Like Mike Pence with his shock therapy
She just responded
I thought I got left on read
Make an illegal turn just to see this girl
So I hook a left on red
Goddamn that ass is a mystery
Like Agatha Christie
Leave nothing left unread
Twist her clit with my weak hand till it bleed and
I call it left on red
I seen fourteen year olds on the TV
Make a million bucks
Disrespect as a come up
I might just say
Fuck everything that I stand for
Cash me on my live Instagram
Making cam porn
Christ, I fucking hate it here
Fuck this shit, I’m going back to Hell
Satan’s afraid of me
So he locks me up in a padded cell
And if I wasn't in a straightjacket
I’d be straight jacking it
Cause my brain’s imagining
Satan clapping his naked ass in my face
And it makes me wanna shake my shaft
Like a miner in an earthquake
Girl’s wasting my time if it ain’t
Third base on the first date
Toes curl, make her sing my name
As if she living in a birdcage
I might roast a couple emcees
Send them to the school nurse
For some first aid
But if we’re talking bout worst-case
Like Triangle Shirtwaist
Everybody’s gonna burst in flames, whoah
You and your crew
A bunch of lame dudes
That write the same flow
And sing the same tune
I’m bigger and I’m proper
I belong at the beginning
So if I was a letter
I’d be the uppercase you
When the DJ spins
The beat'll start a Revolution
Well, you know
Pour me some of that jawn, Lenin
Vodka got me hammered and sick I'll be
Slamming this liquor until I crash
Like the car they found Paul dead in
This rap’s about to make
The last two cypher tracks sound
Like practice rounds
They were pretty good at the time
But I was a different person then
From this craftless crowd
I expect the worst
Cause you hacks are all mad at how
I go against the current
To write impressive verses
While you less-than-perfects
Just flock to certain trends
Got them asking round
Have the refs determined if that’s allowed?
What’s with the excessive cursing?
Does he make his parents proud?
What’s 3st? I’ve never even heard of them
I don’t toy with luck, so I'll make this quick
Got a Royal Flush and I’mma Ace this shit
When I kill the King
And then steal the Queen
And then Jack the crown
With a perfect Ten
If you wanna come at me now
You’re gonna have to round up half the town
With pitchforks and lit torches
Sing an off-pitch chorus of “Kill The Beast”
And assemble a hand-picked force of
Basset hounds to track me down
Filthy plebeians see me as
A silly comedian like a sad clown
But when I fulfill the dream and fill the seats
I’ll ask who’s laughing now?