[Verse 1]
I don't need these cigarettes
All these pills and ill effects
He threw his suitcase into the crater
I don't need these supplements
All these weapons of self-defense
He threw his switchblade into the crater
I don't need this questionnaire
Credit ratings and Tupperware
He threw his phone into the crater

[Chorus]
Oh, he's the Holy Weight Champ
Oh, he's the Holy Weight Champ

[Verse 2]
I could never rejoice
For a gold Rolls Royce
He threw his car keys into the crater
Why should I have some
When so many have none?
He threw his wealth into the crater

[Chorus]
Oh, he's the Holy Weight Champ
Oh, he's the Holy Weight Champ
[Bridge]
Well we stared at the pit stop crater for ten or fifteen minutes
Then loaded back into the station wagon
A small boat on an endless black sea
Gliding westward across the American desert
Onward to the midsummer derby
To the radios on the beach
To the roller coaster's controlled fear

[Verse 3]
I don't need these eyes or ears
I'm aligned to the heavenly spheres
He threw his senses into the crater
I don't need to speak of hate
Good or evil, church and state
He threw his voice into

[Chorus]
Oh, he's the Holy Weight Champ
Oh, he's the Holy Weight Champ

[Outro]
Oh, he's the Holy Weight Champ
So long, Holy Weight Champ