[Intro]
Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh
Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh

[Verse 1]
My condition's benign
And as rare as it gets
They know what it looks like
But only God knows why it exists
It's practically harmless
There's no need for concern
And I drown in my antibiotics
Lest it get any worse

[Chorus]
I can't believe it
Dear God, could you be more subtle next time?
And I'll take the bait, 'cause
For the very first time in my life
I'm fixing to bite

[Refrain]
Duh, duh, duh
Duh, duh, duh

[Verse 2]
I'll cover my chest
I'll laugh all the way home
'Cause the name of my illness
Is just one letter short of my own
I must've been greedy
Surely I engaged in some cardinal sin ('Cause now)
My favorite animal is engraved on the sides of my ribs
[Chorus]
I can't believe it
Dear God, could you be more subtle next time?
The colorful plastic
That you put on the end of your line
Is it really alive?
And I can't believe it
Dear God, could you be more subtle next time?
And I'll take the bait, 'cause
For the very first time in my life
I'm fixing

[Bridge]
Good luck
Divine intervention and the gnashing of teeth
The chain 'round my neck and the sign on the back of the Jeep, oh
And now that He's marked me, I know I was terribly wrong
I'm not scared of death, no, I'm scared of God

[Chorus]
I can't believe it
Dear God, could you be more subtle next time?
And I'll take the bait, 'cause
For the very first time in my life
I'm fixing to bite