Original Broadway Cast of The Little Mermaid
Human Stuff
[SCUTTLE, spoken]
Wow - this is special...this very very unusual

[ARIEL, spoken]
What? What is it?

[SCUTTLE, spoken]
It's a dinglehopper!

[ARIEL, spoken]
A dinglehopper?

[SCUTTLE, spoken]
Oh these babies are fantabulous. Absolutely indispensary. When it comes to dingle hoppers I'm a regular
Encyclopoodia!

(sung)
Say that you wanna have a hairdo
Like the folks who live up there do
That'll flap their wings

[GULL 1]
Flop their wigs!

[GULL 2]
Flap!
[GULL 3]
Awwwk!

[SCUTTLE]
Well you'll look absolutely dandy
If you use one of these handy
Little thingamajigs

[GULL 1]
Thingmabobs

[GULL 2]
Jigs!

[GULL 1]
Bobs!

[GULL 3]
Awwwk!

[SCUTTLE]
Pick up a dinglehopper just like so
Twirl it the way I'm twirling now
Give it a little yank and there ya go
You're what they call the dog's meow
[GULLS]
Wonderful stuff

[GULL 3]
Squawk

[GULLS]
That human stuff
Can't get enough...

[GULL 3]
Squawk

[GULLS]
Of human stuff!
And we are the authority
No need for us to bluff
Because we're great at explanating
Human stuff

[ARIEL, spoken]
(holds pipe)
Whats that?

[SCUTTLE, spoken]
A snarfblatt!
[ARIEL, spoken]
Wow!

[SCUTTLE]
Back when the world was prehistoral
People sat as still as coral
Flat upon their rumps

[GULL 1]
On their runts!

[GULL 2]
Bunks!

[GULL 3]
Awwwk!

[SCUTTLE]
There they would be, not even thinkin'
Bored to death and barely blinkin'
Way down at the dumps

[GULL 1]
On the dumps!

[GULL 2]
At!

[GULL 1]
On!

[GULL 3]
Awwwk!

[SCUTTLE]
Then they invented snarfblatts, just by chance
Suddenly life was la-di-da!
Snarfblatts are what you use
To make folks dance
Give it a blow, and then - voila!

[GULLS]
Wonderful stuff!

[GULL 3]
Awwwk!

[GULLS]
That human stuff!
If you're a buff -

[GULL 3]
Awwwk!

[GULLS]
On human stuff!

[GULL 1]
It's marvable!

[GULL 2]
Stupendible!

[SCUTTLE]
Completely A-OJ!
Which sounds absurd, but take my word -

[GULLS]
That's what the humans say!

[SCUTTLE&GULLS]
Sensible stuff
That human stuff!
None of it fluff -
Not human stuff!
And heaven knows
Since we're the pros
From us, you'll get no guff

[SCUTTLE]
And once you've got a who's-ma-gig -

[GULL 1]
A thing-ma-what -

[GULL 2]
A watch-ma-gig -

[SCUTTLE]
That's all you need to bring you up to snuff!

[GULLS]
Right up to snuff!
With proper dinglehopper groomin'
Rest assured...you'll look real human!

[SCUTTLE]
We know, 'cause we know
Human stuff!