[Refrain]
Hello (Hello)
Allow me to introduce myself (Myself)
My name is Shady
It's so nice to meet you (It's so nice to meet you)
It's been a long time (Long time)
I'm sorry I've been away so long (So long)
My name is Shady
I never meant to leave you (I never meant to leave you)
Yeah

[Verse 1]
You see that chick in the gym, checking me out?
Any second I'm 'bout to stick her neck in my mouth
I lose a pill and I'm recklessly wreckin' the house
That was supposed to be breakfast, where the heck is it now?
There's the necklace I lost, right next to Stephanie's blouse
Man, I should check to see if my mom left any out
Nope, guess I'll re-route
Maybe somewhere in the depths of the couch
Oh, jackpot, yeah—open sesame, mouth
Down the hatch, and the feeling—you can't match it
I rap-tat-tap on your door with a damn ratchet
Attack-tack-tacking a whore with a damn hatchet
A knapsack packed with like forty-some Xanaxes
Shorty, come back, I'm tryna score me some lapdances
I'm 'bout to relapse, so, baby, pour me some Jack Daniel's
Formula 44D and 40s with bad capsules
The bad apple spoils the bunch, I'm back at ya
[Chorus 1]
Girl, I don't mean any harm
All I wanted to do is just say hello
And are you menstruating, baby?
My little friend's waiting to say hello
The way your titties are wigglin'
And your booty's shakin' like jello
Girl, I don't mean any harm
All I wanted to do is just say hello, yeah

[Verse 2]
My equilibrium's off—must be the lithium
I don't need to buy any drugs, man—people give me 'em
It just becomes everyday, extra-curriculum
No reason in particular—it was strictly fun
A fifth of rum and two bottles of 151
Fifty-one people asleep in my damn living room
Excuse me, hun, but what is your name? Vivian?
I woke up next to you naked, and, uh, did we, um?
Of course, we did, but didn't I strap Jimmy, hun?
I'm looking for the torn wrapper, but there don't seem to be one
No offense, baby girl, I don't mean any harm
But disease is something I'm trying to keep my penis free from
I find the package, and I'm cool—I immediately run
Like Speedy Gon-zales to see if I see anyone
Who might have a couple of 3's—I'm fiending for some
My head is pounding to the beat of the drum
[Chorus 2]
Girl, I don't mean any harm
All I wanted to do is just say hello
And do you happen to have anything on you
To make my mood mellow?
Some are oval and some are pink
Some are blue and some are just yellow
Girl, I don't mean any harm
All I wanted to do is just say hello

[Verse 3]
Oh, those were the days, they certainly were
It's hurting me to know that I'll be closing that curtain for good
Word-word, chk-word-word, chk-word, chk-chk-word
I second that and I third, rushed to emergency surgery
To try to flush me because of the drugs that he purchased
He's no longer getting them free—hundred bucks for these Percodans
Plus, it's getting to be where he'll lustfully search the den
Pain is hitting his knee and his muscles be hurtin' him
Tirelessly on the phone trying to rustle up
Muscle relaxers for his back and a couple of Paxils
Now he's doubling backwards, and he's stumbling back
Slipped and fell, hit his back, boom, heard something go crack
Now he's up in the bathroom like he's busting a nap
Almost ended it that soon because of the fact
I'm just busting my own chops while I'm busting a rap
Resuscitated and rejuved, so fuck it, I'm back
[Chorus 2]
Girl, I don't mean any harm
All I wanted to do is just say hello
And do you happen to have anything on you
To make my mood mellow?
Some are oval and some are pink
Some are blue and some are just yellow
Girl, I don't mean any harm
All I wanted to do is just say hello

[Refrain]
And so I'm saying, "Hello" (Hello)
Allow me to introduce myself (Myself)
My name is Shady
It's so nice to meet you (It's so nice to meet you)
It's been a long time (Long time)
I'm sorry I've been away so long (So long)
My name is Shady
I never meant to leave you (I never meant to leave you)

[Outro]
Yeah, it's like starting over
Clean slate
Ha