[Verse 1]
I knew a boy way back when
His name was Bobby, and then
He asked my daddy if I could go dancing
But he could not make a pass
Can’t tell his elbow from ass
He was completely inept at romancing

[Chorus]
Oh, Bobby
Well, it’s so painful to watch you
Well, in a crowd I could spot you
Oh, Bobby
You’ll never nail her
What a spectacular failure

[Verse 2]
He’s got a buddy named Jack
Who likes to take it as fact
That he and Bobby have all of the power
But don’t believe what he says
'Cause Jack’s gone soft in the head
And Bob and Jack play grab-ass in the shower

[Chorus]
Oh, Bobby
You play out every delusion
You’re better off in seclusion
Oh, Bobby
You’ve never looked paler
What a spectacular failure
[Musical Interlude]

[Chorus]
Oh, Bobby
You don’t appear to be dying
Oh, it’s like you’re not even trying
Oh, Bobby
I can’t excuse your behavior
What a spectacular failure
What a spectacular failure