Original Broadway Cast of Mean Girls
Meet The Plastics
[CADY, spoken]
Woah. Who is at that table there?
[DAMIAN, spoken]
Don't look at them, just don't!
[DAMIAN, sung]
We call those three "The Plastics"
They're shiny, fake, and hard
[JANIS]
They play their little mind games
All around the schoolyard
[DAMIAN]
They might insult your clothing
Or make fun of your name
[JANIS]
Like they mocked Jen Moorecock
'Til she burst into flame
[DAMIAN, spoken]
And Ms. Moorecock was a teacher..
[JANIS, spoken]
Regina George is the queen bee. She's always dressed up, she always wins Spring Fling Queen. We're just drones who work for her, then die.
[REGINA]
My name is Regina George
And I am a massive deal
Fear me, love me
Stand and stare at me
And these, these are real
I've got money and looks
I am, like, drunk with power
This whole school
Humps my leg like a chihuahua
I'm the prettiest poison you've ever seen
I never weigh more than one-fifteen
My name is Regina George
And I am a massive deal
I don't care who you are
I don't care how you feel
[JANIS, spoken]
That's Gretchen Wieners, she knows everything about everybody.
[DAMIAN, spoken]
That's why her hair is so big, it's full of secrets.
[GRETCHEN]
Yes, Regina
No, Regina
Every waking hour
I spend making sure Regina
George can stay in power
If Regina is the sun
Then I'm a disco ball
'Cause I'm just as bright and fun
If you've had alcohol
I worm your secrets out of you
And bring them to my master
Then I watch Regina make your life a big disaster
[DAMIAN, JANIS]
Disaster!
[GRETCHEN]
Regina is the queen
But I'm the head of worker bees
As I am seated at her right hand
[DAMIAN, GRETCHEN]
Like a Jewish Princess Jesus
[JANIS, spoken]
That is Karen Smith:
The dumbest person you will ever meet
[Damian, spoken]
I once saw her put a “D” in the word “orange.”
[KAREN, sung]
My name is Karen
My hair is shiny
My teeth are perfect
My skirt is tiny
It barely covers
My perky hiney
My name is Karen
I may not be smart
[KAREN, spoken]
That's it.
[REGINA]
Right
We never really do this
But how'd you like to
Have lunch with us this week?
[CADY, spoken]
Oh, it’s okay, I…
[REGINA, sung]
No, no need for you to thank us
There's no need to even speak
[GRETCHEN]
You're new and you don't know things
You need good friends who can tell you what to think
See you here same time tomorrow
[KAREN]
On Wednesdays we wear pink
[REGINA, GRETCHEN, KAREN]
On Wednesdays we wear pink!
[All overlap]
[REGINA]
Here's where you belong
Here's where you belong
Here's where you belong
Here's where you belong
[GRETCHEN]
Yes, Regina
No, Regina
Every waking hour
I spend making sure Regina
George can stay in power
If Regina is the sun
Then I'm a disco ball
'Cause I'm just as bright and fun
If you've had alcohol
[KAREN]
My name is Karen
My hair is shiny
My teeth are perfect
My skirt is tiny
[REGINA, GRETCHEN, KAREN]
Wear something nice and grab a tray
'Cause we don't do this every day
Say here's where you belong
Say here's where you belong
[REGINA, spoken]
No, really. Say it.
[REGINA, GRETCHEN & KAREN (CADY)]
Say
Here's where you belong (Here's where I belong)
[GRETCHEN]
Come sit with us tomorrow
It'll be fetch!