[Verse 1]
The decision to make Las Vegas the scene for my brother's bachelor party was a real no-brainer
The minute we touched down I got us hooked up with this VIP treatment
I got us into all the most ragin' parties
I mean some real no-holds-barred drinkin'
You know, we got the white club treatment you'd come to expect from a place that associates itself with the likes of the Rat Pack
Wayne Newton, Elvis fuckin' Presley!
Oh, and those Siegfried and Roy guys

[Chorus]
Bright lights! Cool pools! The strip! Hot chicks!
Bright lights! Cool pools! The strip! Hot chicks!

[Verse 2]
When we got off the plane
Immediately to our left my husband Donald noticed that you can get 50 cents to every dollar on the penny slot machines
And by God, we spent almost a half an hour before we even left the airport
When we checked into The Palms
Donald had a swim and I ordered a rum and Coke by the pool
And watched the desert sunset into the night

[Chorus]
Bright lights! Cool pools! The strip! Hot chicks!
Bright lights! Cool pools! The strip! Hot chicks!

[Verse 3]
I came for a business meeting
I never wanted to leave, so I didn't
I met my wife and had a kid, but then the kid got sick
The doctor said it was a new kind of a cancer
A new kind of cancer
A new kind of cancer