[HEIDI}
Christmas dinner is done
It's time for a show on the living room floor
I make my cousin Allison sing "Michael Row the Boat Ashore"
And then I make my cousin Roddy
Play "Greensleeves" on the drums
Knowing full well that nobody wants to hear
"Greensleeves" on the drums

I plan all this riff-raff before me
Making it harder for my family not to adore me
When I enter dressed as a lovable Christmas elf
And oh yeah, I've given the eleven o'clock number to myself!

Give me your attention please!
It's what I want and what I'm looking for!
Ladies and Gs, your attention please
Now that it's here, I'm gonna get some more!

I take my crayons: the purples, browns and blues
The perfect colours to draw on an attention-getting bruise
I give myself a beautiful, big black eye
And when my dad comes in I'll spin a lie as I cry that this

[imitating crying]
"Mean girl at school grabbed my arm
As I was trying to tie my shoelace
And when I pulled my hand back
I pulled it so hard that I hit myself in the face!"
And he believes me
And I totally got his attention

Everyday after kindergarten
Missus Thorton picks me up
Missus Thorton's our next-door neighbour
She gives me juice in a dixie cup
My parents make me stay with her
I'm sure they give her money
And she's a nice enough lady
But her house smells a little funny

And she's always taking baths
So I'm always pretty bored
Through a hole in her fence I can see my own backyard
And I wanna get there
Missus Thorton's snoring in the hammock and I'm getting kinda mad
So I see this as my chance to get back at mom and dad!

So I wander into her kitchen
I am lonely and I'm annoyed
Her linoleum floor stretches out for a mile and
I'm not leaving until I see it destroyed

I pour bleach all over the floor
Then I pour salt all over the bleach
Then I make sure the door locks as I dance around Miss Thorton's
The air is full of Clorox and the ground is full of Morton's salt
But it's not my fault that no one was paying attention
So I sneak out the back door
And I walk home to my house
And later that night my mum's washing my hair in the tub
The phone rings and then my heart stops, right in mid scrub
She leaves the bathroom for a moment
Then comes back

{SUSAN, as mother, *HEIDI*, spoken]
Did you leave MIssus Thorton's house today?
*No.*
Did you pour bleach and salt on her kitchen floor?
*No.*

{HEIDI}
Then she shakes her head, and she leaves me alone in the tub
And though the shampoo's dripping down
And it burns, I should mention
That it really doesn't matter 'cause at least I got her attention

I want more opportunities to stand out from the crowd!
Give me your attention please, I shout it loud and proud!
I don't know why I need it or what I want attention for
But I know that when I get it
I just want attention more!

And one day
What I am waiting for will finally be clear to me
I don't know when
But I know then
All this need will end