Freddy Rodriguez
Scene 15 Crazy Babysitter Twins
Cut to the Block’s house where Tony is being babysat by a pair of identical twins. They are lying on the couch, legs intertwined, both talking on their cell phones and painting each other’s toenails.
Twin 1: (on the phone)
My name is Electra. Fucking listen. My name is Electra. Her name is Electra, too.
Twin 2: (also on the phone)
(speaking Spanish)
Tony: (to himself, playing with a tarantula)
It’s furry.
Twin 1:
No.
Twin 2:
(speaking Spanish)
Tony:
The furry one.
Twin 1:
She goes by Lia, I go by E. El from “Electra”, Ame from “Amelia.” Does that make any fucking sense, in your head?
Twin 2: (speaking to her sister in Spanish)
Shut up, bitch. There’s a fucking kid here…
Twin 1:
You can call me whatever the fuck you want--I don’t give a shit.
The doorbell rings, both sisters instantly get up and race to the door. A shot of them moving towards the door in the background, while in the foreground we see two pet tanks, one with a turtle and the other a scorpion; presumably Tony’s.
Twin 2:
Oye, chica!
Twin 1:
You said 10!
Dakota:
I’m sorry.
Twin 1:
We can’t be watching your kid all goddamn night! Your friend never showed up, and we got shit to do!
Twin 2:
That’s right.
Dakota: (shoving and kicking them out of the house)
Then start doing it!
Tony! We’re leaving!
Tony:
Wait! My tarantula!
Dakota:
Get it.
Tony:
And my turtle. And my scorpion.
Dakota: (picking up what she can, while her hands are still useless)
And we’re not all octopuses. We can’t carry everything.
Tony:
“Octopi”
Dakota:
Ohh… Come on, let’s go!
The two are now in Dakota’s car, Dakota still suffering from the side effects from the syringes Bill stabbed her with from before.
Dakota:
Tony, what did I tell you? You can’t bring them all. Didn’t I tell you that?
Can see that all three pets are now in the same tank, in Tony’s lap in the passenger seat.
Tony:
It’s okay, they can live in the same tank. What about my pocket bike?
Dakota:
It’s in the trunk.
Dakota screams as her window shatters, it’s one of the Twins outside. She hit the car window with a shovel.
Twin 1:
Where do you think you’re going, you fucking bitch?!
The other window shatters, Twin 2 has hit it with a rake.
Twin 2:
We’re going to fuckin’ kill you!
The Twins climb on top of the car and begin hitting it with their weapons, smashing through the rear window. Dakota pulls away, causing the Twins to fall off the car. As Dakota is driving away, the Twins chase after the car, throwing their weapons while they scream.
We cut to Wray’s truck pulling into the parking lot of JT’s Bone Shack. Sheriff Hague and his men are already there, gathered around an old pickup truck. Deputy Tolo walks up to Hague with a box that reads, “All or nothing box.”
Tolo: (jiggling the box)
Are you sure you want to do this?
The box’s contents are spilled onto the hood of the pickup truck. It contained several deputy badges.
Hague:
Everybody grab a badge and a gun. You’re all deputies as of this moment forward. (several people reach for a gun and a badge, Hague presses a shotgun barrel to Wray’s chest) ...Except for you Wray!
Multiple people grab weapons, including Cherry. She instantly hands the pistol up to Wray, but before he can secure it, Deputy Tolo reaches over and yanks it away from Wray, who is again, left without a firearm. The gang stops near JT’s pumps.
Wray:
What do we got?
Hague:
Something’s wrong up there… JT always comes out and greets. (cocks his shotgun) Let’s go!
Hague: (while walking up to JT’s)
Try not to shoot yourselves… Try not to shoot each other… But especially… Don’t shoot me.
The gang pushes the door open, Hague turns around the bar to see JT on the ground covered in blood, the dog is licking at JT’s chest.
Hague:
Go on, get off him Rusty!
Wray checks JT’s body slowly
Hague:
Goddamn JT.
JT comes to life screaming, cocking and aiming his shotgun at Hague who is directly over top of him. Hague is startled at first, but quickly relieved. JT looks down and pulls up a chain of sausage links that were lying on his torso.
JT: (offering Wray)
Barbecue?
Hague:
Asshole.
Wray: (chewing the sausage link)
Damn good sausage link, JT.
JT:
Best in Texas. (stands up) Must’ve passed out after I killed those things.
The camera shows the two dead zombies on the floor, Cherry kicks a corpse with her wooden leg.
Cherry:
Nice shootin’.
Hague:
Everybody gather up supplies. We head out in 20!
JT: (licking the sauce from his torso)
I think I nailed it. Holy shit, I think I finally cracked it. I finally found my--my award-winning barbecue sauce!
Hague:
Your blood’s in it!
JT: (licking more sauce from himself)
Goddamnit. He's right!