[Verse 1]
In the AM from 4 to 6
The TV is blank, I need my fix
I pick up a book but it isn't the same
And so I hook up my video game
And now if I go through the halls of space
In a cosmic not comic book galaxy race
And it's life or death and it's them or me
The defender of human history
The sole survivor of all that is written
A losing battle with no way to win
It's a hyper-velocity atrocity
Gonna take all those bug-eyes down with me
Lasers on, phasers in
Photons, protons, play to win
Here they come so don't be a dumb asteroid
And avoid that cylindrical planetoid
I better walk out, they begin to surround me
I say, "No, I'm not", thе reptilians have found me
Ha ha ha ha

[Verse 2]
Takе this, zap, zap
Take some of that, wap, wap
I've over here and I'm free and I'm clear they fell into my trap
And I give them a taste of hell
I know my weapons and know them well
Two of them left, but they won't live to tell
Of my tale, of my tale, of my rap, zap, zap
You know I'm up once again to my home base station
They feel that I'm cruel as I lay devastation
On galaxies I've never visited twice
And on whole populations and nations it's nice
To be mean and yet clean with your conscious all clear
'Cause they're green on the screen I destroy without fear!
[Verse 3]
I'm tired of space and war at last
The burden of the video laser blast
I change the cassette on my game machine
And sweep off the stars from my video screen
A brand new game is ready to run
It's sword and sorcery, mystical fun
With its dungeons and dragons and goblins and trolls
And its warrior heroes, its maps and its scrolls
And its bats and its snakes and its caves and its keys
And its curses and verses and spells and disease
The swing of an axe, the slice of a blade
Now ain't this more fun than the game we just played?
Follow me down through mazes of stone
Through canyons of glaciers to mountains unknown
And descend through a pit in a path at the top
To an ocean of fire and let yourself drop
Through the currents of evil and madness and curses
The passage of blowdarts and spiders and slime
Which will lead you to horrors where there's no way back
It's almost exactly like riding Amtrak

[Verse 4]
Ha, isn't this fun? Ya, ya, you'll never be bored
Hold onto your sword
We've only begun through the dim labyrinth of the palace
Where in lies the much fabled Torian chalice
It's guarded by five-headed serpents with malice
With malice, with malice, it's fun
Ha, ha
Clutching, you're off on your own with the chalice in hand
Pursued by a primeval villainous band
Of the worst kind of demons who seize you and bind you
It's all just a game while the demons remind you
You try to get out but you're caught in the scream
You're trapped in the tube but your face can't be seen
You can't reach the switch and don't reach out for me
You're caught for all time in the grip of TV
[Outro]
You're glued to the tube
You're glued to the tube
You're glued to the tube
You're glued to the tube
You're glued to the tube
You're glued to the tube
You're glued to the tube
You're glued to the tube
You're glued to the tube