[Verse 1: Randall Park]
When their real dad stepped out of the picture
This stepdad stepped right in and hitched her
Although I cannot fly, I still fit in just fine
Because I like my nuts a pair at a time

[Chorus]
We like our nuts a pair at a time

[Verse 2: Kendahl Landreth]
I hope you were thinking of me when you were looking for these nuts
I've had a lot of mates in my day, but this one rubs me the right way
Getting tail is not a crime
Show me yours, I'll show you mine
Because I like my nuts a pair at a time

[Chorus]
We like our nuts a pair at a time

[Verse 3: Angela Giarratana]
I accidentally ate my retainer again
My parents say my body is changing
And I might have a touch of the rabies
To get my way I cry, I'm not afraid to bite
Because I like my nuts a pair at a time
[Chorus]
We like our nuts a pair at a time

[Daniel Thrasher]
Do I really have to sing right now? I mean, you're not even my real dad

[Kendahl Landreth]
Yes

[Verse 4: Daniel Thrasher]
I'm grounded for hanging out with beavers
And sneaking out at night to the bird feeder
I'm not allowed outside, can't play Paw-station Five
But I like my nuts a pair at a time

[Chorus]
We like our nuts a pair at a time