[Verse 1: Rhett and Link]
Your parents told you that we don't exist
Well, how in the world do you explain this?
We're gonna eat you like we ate your neighbour Nathan
He tasted like waffles, gummy bears and turkey bacon
We'll forge a letter in your handwriting to say
You hate your family so you ran away

[Chorus: Rhett and Link]
Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep tight
(You're gonna get your beauty rest tonight)
Sleep, sleep, sleep tight
(You'll only think right in the morning light)
Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep tight
(Sweet dreams bring peace of mind)
Sleep, sleep, sleep tight
(Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep tight)

[Verse 2: Rhett and Link]
Whoopty freakin' doo, look who lost a tooth today, hey
You've done nothing but you expect to be paid
I bet you don't even know what we do with the tooth
We grind it up and they put it in fast food
And the money that we leave behind isn't even real
It's printed on an ink jet, a counterfeit bill
[Chorus: Rhett and Link]

[Verse 3: Rhett and Link]
You're an old man, I'm the sand man
Your dreams are in my hands
And I can make you dream any dream that a man can
Be a front man for a blues band
Have a younger man's prostate gland
Or make you show up naked for your final exam
But tonight I plan to transport you to an ancient land
Where you'll rescue a maiden from an evil man's hand

[Chorus: Rhett and Link]

[Verse 4: Rhett and Link]
Fresh out of prison, looking for some stuff to lift
This time tomorrow it'll be on Craig's List
Psst!
Hey!
Shh!
What?
Shh!
Sorry
What's that?
Do you think this would make me look fat?
Can you help me get this thing through the window?
It's our ticket to the Antique's Road Show
Uh-oh