(Spoken)
[Fact Core]
Detach the Wheatley Core!?

[Defective Turret]
I wanna do it!

[Rick]
I want it more...

[Turret]
She said we should work together!

[Defective Turret]
But I hate that guy...

[Rick]
I'm more clever!

[Defective Turret]
Ah, whatever...

(Sung)
[All]
Laa, la, la, la, la laa!
La, la, la, la, laaa!
Laa, la, la, la, la laa!
La, la, la, la, laaa!
Detach the Wheatley Core!
Tear him from his shell!
Tie him to an auto-rail...
Into Android Hell!

[Rick]
First, we're gonna set some bait...
Inside a brand-new test and wait
When he comes a-snoopin' we will
Snap the trap and spring the plate!

[Defective Turret]
Wait! I've got a better plan!
To catch this blue-eyed Englishman!
Let's hack into his mainframe
Overclock and set his chips aflame!

[All]
Detach the Wheatley Core!
Knock him on the head!
Freeze him for the rest of time...
In a cryo-bed!

[Fact Core]
She'll be so pleased, I do declare!
That she will cook him rare!
[Turrets]
Ahahaha!
Weeeeee!

[Fact Core]
I say we take a rocket-sentry...
Aim it at his lair and then...
Knock three times and when he answers...
That moron will be no more!

[Defective Turret]
You're so stupid, think now!
If we blow him into smithereens...
He will be in pieces!
And then she’ll NEVER hear him scream!

[All]
Detach the Wheatley Core!
Throw him into space!
Leave him there for many years!
‘til his power fades!

Because our dear lady GLaDOS is the meanest ‘gal around...
If I were on her subject list; I would rather drown!

[Turret]
She'll be so pleased by our success!
[Defective Turret]
That She'll reward us too, I bet...

[Fact Core]
Perhaps she'll even think to bake...

[All]
Her fish-shaped-cracker cake!

[Turret]
(Yay!)

[Fact Core]
We're Her little henchmen...
And we take our job with pride!
We do our best to please her...
And stay on her good side!

(Spoken)
[Rick]
I wish these robots weren't so dumb...

[Defective Turret]
I'm not the dumb one!

[Turret]
You're no fun!

[Rick]
Shut up!

[Defective Turret]
Make me!

(Sung)
[Defective Turret]
I've got something, listen now!
This one is real good; you'll see...
We'll leave a present at his door...
Upon there'll be a note to read

Now, in the box we'll stash and hide...
Until his curiosity...
Entices him to look inside...
And then we'll have him

[Both turrets]
One, two, three!

[All]
Detach the Wheatley Core!
Release him with a click!
Dig around inside his head
See what makes him tick!

Detach the Wheatley Core!
Crush him into bits...
Our dear lady GLaDOS is sure to get her kicks!

Detach the Wheatley Core!
Turn him into starch!
He’ll be out of power and She’ll be back in charge!

[Both turrets]
Ahahahahahaha!