[Intro]

Got a job at the cheese sandwich factory
Gotta make the cheese sandwiches

[Verse 1: Glaze]

You can't hurt me
I got a cheese helmet
But mines better than your it's made of mozzarella
And let me tell you about the fella that painted two chicks on his dad's Buick
And they were doin' it
If I was his mom or dad I would've sued him
If I was a critic, I would've boo'ed him
But luckily for me I got a sense of humor so I find it funny when he's dancing in the shower stall wearing scuba
I heard a rumor he was done with MTV but then they let him back on the air and cancelled in eleven weeks
So get your bum-bum out of your seat
And do a happy birthday dance for the man Tom Green

[Verse 2: Muth]

The movie Road Trip showed us your movie career would never blow up
Now hold up and listen right here
He had that big old desk where he used to sit
Shoved the mic in people's faces while covered in dogshit
And speaking of shit - he ate mouse shit
Now it's time to mention that he sucked some cow's dick
So enjoy this tune, happy birthday - that's all
Now go out and celebrate and check your one ball
[Chorus: All]

If you're happy and you know it and you're a fan of Tom's
Go to www.TomGreen.com
Turn MTV off and turn the internet on
And go to www.TomGreen.com
Wake up your dad and wake up your mom and show 'em www.TomGreen.com
If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son cus' I'm at www.TomGreen.com

[Verse 3: Skeltz]

Holy shit this is crazy Tom's a 30 year old man
Now go ahead and eat your chicken sandwich damn
Now is he mainstream, na na Tom
He's chilling out making moves on TomGreen.com - the dudes the bomb
Watch him vomit in a trashbag
Interviewing people, yo this shit relax dag
I need a [refund on?] Freddy got Fingered fix
I gotta see my man Tom feeling up horse dick - the man is sick
But you gotta give him props at least
He blew a million sending bombs to the Middle East - restoring peace
Check it out if you overheard it
He broke his wheelie [but wait?], the old man deserved it, don't get it twisted

[Chorus: All]
If you're happy and you know it and you're a fan of Tom's
Go to www.TomGreen.com
Turn MTV off and turn the internet on
And go to www.TomGreen.com
Wake up your dad and wake up your mom and show 'em www.TomGreen.com
If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son cus' I'm at www.TomGreen.com

[Verse 4: E-Dubble]

They say immitation is the ultimate in flattery
And having you as a role model is embarrassing
But I take my lessons from the great Tom Green
Cus' neither me or him would ever be a prom king
We cool like Palm Springs in the middle of September
And Freddy Got Fingered keeps me laughing through November
The movie Stealing Harvard could've been a lot better if you switched rows with Jason Lee - Imma write a letter
And let the brass know what they ass don't know
Tom Green is a star, generate the cash flow
Barrymore's a dumb slut - get the god with one nut
Put him on the big screen he will steal the big scene
Fill up them seats and get the big cream
A cat whose a vigilante that's a good theme
Drink a mason jar rum, sit back and scheme
Here's a toast to the best, happy birthday Tom Green

[Chorus: All]
If you're happy and you know it and you're a fan of Tom's
Go to www.TomGreen.com
Turn MTV off and turn the internet on
And go to www.TomGreen.com
Wake up your dad and wake up your mom and show 'em www.TomGreen.com
If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son cus' I'm at www.TomGreen.com

[Verse 5: Tup]

Born in Pembroke, that is a town in Ontario
1971 up in your stereo
Michael Thomas Green I'm speaking of none other
Than the man who rocks two first names and a color
Now he's been making Canadians laugh till they cry
Ever since he graduated from Colonel By High
And Tom liked to write lines so he got two white guys
And he spit some fly rhymes they were organised
And then he blew up, he got famous so speedily
I remember trying to grow a Tom Green goatee-ly
But I couldn't do it cus' my hair was too sparse
Happy birthday Tom, here's your gift; two farts

[Chorus x2: All]

If you're happy and you know it and you're a fan of Tom's
Go to www.TomGreen.com
Turn MTV off and turn the internet on
And go to www.TomGreen.com
Wake up your dad and wake up your mom and show 'em www.TomGreen.com
If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son cus' I'm at www.TomGreen.com