[Verse 1: Wax]
I'm coming hard for Friday, like a pedophile
At his computer desk, watching Rebecca smile
I go the extra mile, the marathon's 27th mile
Then I hit the ice cold beverage aisle
I got a cast-iron liver
And I would rather drown my sorrows than cry a river
I use my brain like you use a plane flight ticket
Now I'm in a place where all the fences are white picket
The only way it might get disturbing
Is if you're bothered by the sound of light cricket chirping
I just let it soak in like Robitussen
And about the fast-paced rat race there's no discussion
I'm just trying to get into the proper mood
Remix of everyday life, chopped and screwed
What can I do to get the weekdays behind me?
Watsky, remind me
Thank you, kindly

[Hook x2]
Kick Monday in the nutsack
Wedgie Wednesday's butt crack
I'm coming hard for Friday
And if you're not, get the fuck back

[Verse 2: Watsky]
Compared to mine, all testicles, hecka small
Mine crack walls like a wrecking ball
When my checkered drawers fall, y'all see ornaments
Fit for a porno flick
Time to deck the halls
I'm glad it's all finished, the week is all bidness
But now I'm chilling, sprawled out with a tall Guinness
I'm gonna set the world record for the funnest time ever
Had on the planet, so everybody call Guinness
I swear a lot, this ain't Fisher-Price
If I'm a bad influence, then here's the great advice:
Kids! Don't be a dickweed!
Appreciate the shit out of the present moment and be fucking nice!
I whistle weird for the tune of it
If they all did, it'd ruin it
We spent two months on this here bluegrass-folk rock-hip hop album
Because we really felt like doing it!
So everybody...
[Hook x2]

[Verse 3: Watsky]
I'm an Amurican, I put my work in
And when work's done, it's time for perking
Hey, let's invite the vultures down to have a drink
They must be getting tired doing all that circling
Cause it's the world's end
We're overheat-elated!
And, from what I hear, we're also over-people-ated
So, there's no room
Or we'll just explode soon
So, let's get inebriated
And forget what we created
So I've been thinking
We should have a big party
For all humans, and even women (ladies!)
For the dumb Southerners, the lazy Mexicans
The A-rabs, and the coloreds and their peckers, and
The cheap Jews, which is me, too
I'll even treat you! (L'chaim!)
But, just this once, cause nothing's free, dude
And when the fiery end comes, we'll burn up quicker
Because we're full of liquor
So everybody...
Kick Monday in the nutsack [x10]