[Intro]
Yum! Sheilas and blokes, this is Sick Cunt Number Five. I say number five, but let's be honest, I'm number one. I'm number one sickest cunt in Australia, probably the fuckin' world. Yeah. Let's do it

[Verse 1]
One, two, three, four, five
Everybody's got a smoke, well, come on, let's drive
To the bottle-o near the servo
The boys say they want some VB or whatever's on special
K hole and I'm in real deep
Fuck, I must talk quick 'cause my ex is near
I like Shazza, Kazza, Sandra, Tishana
And as I continue, you know I'm gettin' blinder
So if I root you, girl, like, I'll either do a pingers to me, just like sport
Anyone hot? It's all good
I'm gonna shelve it, or maybe I'll sell it

[Chorus]
A little bit of Shazza with me smokes (yeah)
A little bit of Kazza and a bit of blow (ahh)
A little bit of Keisha in a G (woo)
A little bit of Harley costs a fee (fuck)
A little bit of Crystal, pack a bong (yeah)
A little bit of Renee, footy's on
A little bit of Skyler, have a toke (okay)
A little bit of you makes me your bloke (yeah nah)
I'm a fuckin' sick cunt
Yeah, nah yeah
Centrelink

[Verse 2]
Swig up and down, move the goon sack around
Have a tactical vom, and we're off to town
Pass one joint left (yeah), one joint right (ooh)
Put a saddy in your sock and you're good for the night
Slap a dick once, slap a dick twice
And if you feel the tip, then you're doin' it right

[Chorus]
A little bit of Shazza with me smokes (Longbeach)
A little bit of Kazza and a bit of blow (it's flour)
A little bit of Keisha in a G (aw yeah)
A little bit of Harley costs a fee (I'm not payin' that)
A little bit of Crystal, pack a bong
A little bit of Renee, footy's on (go Carney)
A little bit of Skyler, have a toke (give us some)
A little bit of you makes me your bloke (yeah nah)

[Bridge]
I do all too
Get a root from a spunk like you
You can run, you can hide
I'll stay home and just get high
[Outro]
Haha, packin' up them billies
I don't actually have any weed, so
Ah, someone fuckin' bring me some, ay, I'll-- fuck I'll chop up the-- we'll chop up-- I've got a fuckin'-- I've got a fuckin' fern tree out the front, I could smoke that-- I could smoke anything, cause I'm a fuckin' sick cunt
(Yeah!)
Centrelink