[Intro: The Young Wizard]
What did you say the girl's name was?
Uh... Lucy?
With the hair?
...yeah
The eyes?
I guess so
My daughter Lucy...

[Verse 1: The Young Wizard]
Nah, you can't do this
And I've had it to about up to here
Your savage ways are not gonna slip
Unnoticed in my forbidden kingdom
Nah, you took the piss
And I don't see me forgiving this
You took from me what I hold the dearest
And things like this don't disappear quick
(Why on earth would you do something like that)
Explain yourself little cat

[Verse 2: Lausse the Cat]
I had the heart to mend
It felt dark and I can't pretend
To be full of some youthful charm and vigour
When I can't feel a thing
I've tried hanging with trees and drinking in abandoned factories
And fist fighting, I've tried - and still there's nothing quite like
Beating hearts
Don't care if you think its dark
I feed on ladies' hearts, that's fat
If I-A-M stood for "I Am A Monster"
Then guess I could be an IAMS cat
See me sussing out several yats
In the back of the club, with the lips in the darkness
"So what this one's your girl lad?"
Don't give a shit, don't care if I'm pardoned
[Verse 3: Lausse the Cat (Acting as a Narrator)]
This little speech didn't please the tree
This balanced man sent sinful heat
Turned his tree roots into long pointed vines
And used them to lift up Lausse the Cat
Grabbed him by his arms and his legs and he spread 'em out like I do asses fat
Lausse persisted to fight and resist but the wizard tree figure didn't fuck about
Used a vine so sharp to carve the little devil's heart out of his chest and left a dark hole in its place
All the town was standing round to witness our friend's sorry state
They laughed, cheered, clapped, and mocked his fate
The cat answered

[Verse 4: Lausse the Cat]
Can't have a heart? I ain't sissed, I ain't assed
Matter of fact I didn't ask for this shit
Didn't ask for your pardon, I asked for your kid
Just to scarf for a cat, and to laugh for a bit
I lead myself to the park in a bit
And go back to my yard where I carve me a spliff
Keep your sour bitch and little moral stories
Yeah, I'll piss where you stand and use paper to write this

[Verse 5: Lausse the Cat (Acting as a Narrator)]
The wizard tree dropped the cat upon his knees, watched him gasp in disbelief at what just happened to his heart
All his feels were cursed, and all his efforts turned to dirt
And all that mattered in this world was to collapse and fall apart
[Outro: The Young Wizard]
"Boo Hoo little cat that's what you get
When you treat a lovely lady like she's nothing but a sket
Eat a girl's affection for dessert, I think its dark
Hence why I believe that you no longer do deserve a heart"