[Spoken Intro]
Oh Santa
I got something for ya
Or better yet, I got [to get]

[Verse 1]
Santa baby, just slip a sable under the tree
For me
That's right, baby
I've been a awful good queen
Very good
Santa baby, hurry down the chimney tonight

[Interlude]
Santa baby
Mmmhmm... You better run. Run, don't walk, honey. don't walk
Don't forget to bring the cash

[Verse 2]
Santa baby, a '54 convertible too
I've put a lot of miles on my vehicle
Light blue
I'll wait up for you dear
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

[Interlude]
Santa baby
Uh-huh
You were crazy as hell when you got here, but you're in your right damned mind now
[Chorus 1]
Think of all the fun I have missed
Think of all the fellas who I haven't kissed
But if I had the dollars
Next year I could be as good
Oh yes, honey
If you check out my Christmas list
Tell it like it is, girl

[Verse 3]
Oh Santa baby I want a yacht
Honey listen!
And really that's not a lot
That ain't asking a lot, no uh-uh
I've been an angel all year
I've put a lot of miles on my vehicle
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight
And I want T.P.: the total package
Tonight
T.P., honey, the total package, you hear me?

[Interlude]
Say, baby, uh, listen here, don't forget to bring the cash

[Verse 4]
Santa honey
I'm not rich, honey
One little thing I really need
But if I had the dollars
The deed
Cash money
To a platinum mine
Oh yes honey
Santa baby
Listen here
Hurry on down that chimney baby tonight, baby
I'm from Missouri
Come on down tonight
I am from Missouri, the show me state
I'm not talkin' about tomorrow
No I ain't talkin' about tomorrow, I'm talkin about tonight, honey, hear me? Come here, baby
[Chorus 2]
Come and trim my Christmas tree
You ain't trimmin' nothin' here, honey
With some decorations bought at Tiffany's
Not J.C. Penney I said Tiffany
I really do believe in you
You know it's reciprocal, honey
Let's see if you believe in me
Cash money!


[Verse 5]
Oh Santa baby
Run don't walk
I forgot to mention one little thing
Huh?
A ring
That's right, baby
I don't mean on a phone
That's right, what you take me for? A fool?
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight, Daddy
If you know what I mean

[Interlude]
Santa baby
Oh yes
Oh yes
You don't want me to go postal on you tonight
Cash Tonight honey. Oh! The total package. TP honey. Oh Miss Paul don't want no fake nothin'. Listen here Santa: you don't want to make me mad. Uh huh... Burnt up a mink coat? No, I'm laughing now but deep inside I really need this... She's- she's- she's seriously honey. Lookie.. lookie here: my feet are all swollen, I'm bloated and I'm about to get mean. Uh oh... Meanness Charles, honey. I will get postal on your ass. Whatchu take me for? A fool? No honey...
[Outro]