VCTMS
mental//prison

Split wrist
Pull it back or call it quits
Pain pushing addict
Suffering in silence
Medicated to block out the violence
Short sighted with a chip on my shoulder I'm trying
To push it down but soon reminded that the hurt just keeps on biting
And wounds
Break open from time to time -
Maybe you’ve stitched your scars
But the blood still pours from mine

Stop the bleeding
Give it a rest
They said
But I promise
I'm begging for the end
Survival of the fittest
But why am I fighting
To live in a mental prison
Biding my time to stay alive
Buying time till I die
In a cycle of violence
That carousels in my mind
Keep twisting thе knife
Your words never seem to catch up with your actions
Pеople are a game to you
You thrive off their reaction
Distractions
Obsessed with lust and attraction
Control and attachment
Don't learn from the past and
You hate yourself I know but you hate to see me go
Afraid you might end up alone
But you reap what you sow
Scary to think about if shit came to the surface
If people knew the real you
Would have it been worth it ?

Stop the bleeding
Give it a rest
They said
But I promise
I’m begging for the end
Survival of the fittest
But why am I fighting
To live in a mental prison
Biding my time to stay alive
Buying time till I die
In a cycle of violence
That carousels in my mind
Keep twisting the knife (space between this as well)
Salt to the wound
Whenever I think about you
It's been a year since I left
A year of me trying to make it make sense
Not sure what is worse
These fucked up feelings or the fact that it still hurts
What will I get you to stop?
What will it take…..

I've always bit the bullet
To spare someone the pain
While I'm gutted from the inside
You held the fucking blade
Near six years of my life
Now it's all a waste
All the times I trusted you
When I should have walked away
You'll always be my biggest mistake

I've always bit the bullet
Just to spare you the pain
Still gutted from the fucking inside
Reminded of you everyday
Near six years of my life
But I'll continue to save face
Even though I know, I loved you
You’ll always be my biggest mistake