[Verse 1: Gary]
I reflect on my reflection
And I ask myself the question
What's the right direction to go?
I don't know

[Chorus: Gary, Muppet Gary]
Am I a man or am I Muppet?
(Am I a Muppet?)
If I'm a Muppet, then I'm a very manly Muppet
(Very manly Muppet)
Am I a Muppet...
(...Muppet)
Or am I a man?
(Am I a man?)
If I'm a man, that makes me a Muppet of a man
(A Muppet of a man)

[Verse 2: Walter]
I look into these eyes
And I don't recognize
The one I see inside
It's time for me to decide

[Chorus: Walter, Human Walter]
Am I a man or am I Muppet?
(Am I a Muppet?)
If I'm a Muppet, well I'm a very manly Muppet
(Very manly Muppet)
Am I a Muppet...
(Muppet)
Or am I a man?
(Am I a man?)
If I'm a man, that makes me a Muppet of a man
(A Muppet of a man)
[Bridge: Gary and Walter, Muppet Gary, Human Walter]
Here I go again
I'm always running out of time
I think I made up my mind
Now I understand who I am
I'm a man!
I'm a Muppet!
I'm a Muppet of a man!
I'm a very manly Muppet!
I'm a Muppety man!

[Outro: Gary & Walter]
That's what I am