I went down to the library
You know, the big one way downtown
I went down to the library
You know, the big one way downtown
I pulled out my spiral notebook and my scripto pencil
These, these, these are the words that I did put down

I'm a dud firecracker, I ain't got any fuse
I ain't got no inspiration since I lost my muse
I'm a table with two legs, I'm a spider with five
I'm going down slow
Muse, when will you arrive?

Oh muse, where are you?
Oh muse, where are you?
You know, I eat, drink, and I smoke stuff
I don't know what to do

I went to the mountain and the desert too
I was there, ladies, so where were you?
I'm a flattened-out wave, I ain't got any curl
I'm an empty old oyster, I ain't got any pearl

Muse, where are you?
Oh muse, where are you?
You know, I eat, drink, and I smoke stuff
I don't know what to do
Sit up late, stay up, wait
It's a rule of thumb—she's got to come
Sit up late, stay up, wait
It's a rule of thumb—she's got to come

I take lots of cold showers and I go for long walks
I wait for a pitch, but the fickle bitch balks
Took a shot of whiskey and a snort of cocaine
Opened up my head and stuck electrodes in my brain

Oh muse, where are you?
Where are you, muse, oh, where are you?
You know, I eat, drink, and I smoke stuff
I eat, drink, and I smoke stuff
I eat, drink, and I smoke stuff
I don't know what to do