The strangest story ever told
Was how I got to be this old
At the close of World War II
My folks did the deed that the young folks do
In ’46, out I came
This world would never be the same!

I don’t know why, I’m not sure how
I wound up here, in the here and the now
(He don’t know why, he’s not sure how
He wound up here, in the here and the now)

In the 1950s, I was just a kid
Did all the kid stuff all you people did
I rode a bike, I threw a ball
Childhood, yeah, I got through it all
The '60s came, I got my zits
The girls were scary and the parents the pits

I don’t know why, I’m not sure how
I made it here, to the here and the now
(He don’t know why, he’s not sure how
He made it here, to the here and the now)

In the '70s, I made it big
Skunk time, fame, and well, few dig
I took a wife, we had some kids
Screwed that up and went on the skits
In the '80s I started me a brand new life
Had another kid, I took another wife
I don’t know why, I’m not sure how
I got here, to the here and the now
(He don’t know why, he’s not sure how
He got here, to the here and the now)

In the 1990s, there I went again
Made me a few more female friends
That sure enough from heaven was sent
Yet another wife, another blessed event
It’s the 21st century and I’m down-right old
My seat’s spinning, my loins are cold

It all makes sense, the why and the how
Soon I’ll be out of here, the here and the now
(It all makes sense, the why and the how)
I’ll be out of here, that’s (the here and the now)