Downtown is where it's at, I don't doubt that
But today I can do without I'm getting sick of the slums
I'm tired of dodging the bums
And all the freaks are freaking me out

Today we ruin the roach, today we conquer the crab
Today we bring the bedbug down
Watch me, baby, hail a taxi cab
You and me are going uptown

Well, let's go fly a kite in Central Park
Go and see a Shakespeare play
Have a lot of fun at the planetarium
And museum all the blues away

Well, Rockefeller Center and the UN too
Baby don't make me wait
I want to elevate up and down with you
In the building of the Empire State

Well, we'll eat dinner at your favorite Schrafft's
Somebody gonna shine my shoes
Then we'll pop into Playland for pinball laughs
And read the Allied Chemical News

Le's go to Radio City Music Hall
To catch the Rockettes of renown
Then we get to The Garden for some basketball
Or a fight for the heavyweight crown
That's right, a change of pace is good for a change
It's a wonder all the goodness it gives
Life is, oh, so sweet above Fourteenth Street
Let's go see how the other half lives

Today we ruin the roach, today we conquer the crab
Today we bring the bedbug down
Watch me, baby, hail a taxi cab
You and me are going uptown