There'll be lots of drinking in Heaven
Smoking and eating and sex
What you didn't do in this life, bad for you
Will be totally cool in the next

In Heaven there'll be beer for breakfast
At lunch it's tequila and wine
And the soup served with dinner is made with paint thinner
And the morning hereafter feels fine, Oh....

Good behaviour will get you to heaven
It's Beulah Land, that's where you're bound
But nobody makes nice up there in paradise
When you get up there then you get down

And the angels have ashtrays in Heaven
Saint Peter puffs on a cigar
That's right smoking's allowed, it's what makes all those clouds
And you don't have to sit at the bar, Oh....

And they eat all day long up in Heaven
And nobody ever gets fat
No not one calorie and the ice cream is free
It comes in a pint, quart, or a vat

And it's just one big orgy in Heaven
And nobody ever says "no"
And it's front, sideways, back, and you start to lose track
But you don't lose your get up and go, Oh...
There'll be lots of drinking in Heaven
Smoking and eating and sex
What you didn't do in this life, bad for you
Will be totally cool in the next

In Heaven there'll be beer for breakfast
At lunch it's Sambuca and wine
The gazpacho with dinner is made with paint thinner
And the morning hereafter feels fine!