Welcome to the jungle, baby
You've been in the dungeon
You look cute in that three-piece suit
It's a two-martini luncheon

It's a man's world and we all know
For it you've been itching
If you can't stand the heat out here
Slip back into the kitchen

All that sweat and muscle tone
Stiffens my libido
Now you're on that Nautilus, whoa
You're a crazy Captain Nemo

Feel the burn, you powerhouse
Experience elation
One day you might stumble on
A cure for menstruation

I saw you speaking on that talk show
About what bastards men are
Cruel rapists, rip-off artists
All together bizarre

Peter Pan's and Captain Hook's
Out to get poor Wendy
But as for Tinkerbell
You must admit she was a bit unfriendly
Towards Wendy
I'm pleased you see your curves and cleavage
Are to your advantage
Your brassiere burning older sisters
They did not understand this

Your weakness is your greatest strength
Little girl keep breaking
All that crying is not lying
It's just some good old-fashioned faking

Yes, you see the recipe
For happiness is easy
Our family and our career
Oh, a body should keep busy

And if your husband, boyfriend, children
Start to kick and shove you
Remember that Phil Donahue
And Alan Alda love you