Let's not split at Thanksgiving, that would be too rough
On display around the family table saying pass the stuffing
With all those loved ones witnessing all our rage and pain
Let's not split at Thanksgiving, that would be insane

And we can't quit at Christmas time, that's also insanity
You have to check the lights work right, I have to lug the tree inside
It's takes two to make the tree stand straight, to get it in the stand
No, we can't quit at Christmas, that can't be our plan
We can't quit at Christmas time, the world won't understand

Not on Independence Day, that would be joke
Going to watch the fireworks to celebrate what broke
And not our anniversary, that would be too cold - way too cold
That day I keep forgetting we swore to have and hold

Not a September separation that everyone should know
And blame the stars and planets and our dumb sing Virgo
Halloween's a possibility, we can wear some masks
In costume and pretending so we don't have to ask ourselves

But looking at the calendar there really is no day
That makes sense for us to end it, throw it all away
The whole idea's too harmful, it's too sad, too strange, too cruel - way too cruel
No date would be convenient, well, maybe April Fool's Day
Looking at the calendar, maybe April Fool's