Last night I dreamed that I won a Grammy
It was presented to me by Debbie Harry
I ran up on stage in my tux
I gulped and said, "Aw, shucks"
I'd like to thank my producer and Jesus Christ

The audience gave me a standing ovation
I shed tears of joy, I shed tears of elation
Behind the podium there Debbie grabbed my derrière
I like to thank my producer and Jesus Christ

I took my Grammy and Debby and walked offstage
We made the cover of Cashbox and the Random Notes page

In the weeks that followed things went fine for me:
An Oscar, a Tony, and an Emmy
Bo Derek and Barbara Mandrell
A Pulitzer and a Nobel
Meryl Streep and Tammy Terell
Five gold and one bronze as well
Joan Rivers and Lana Cantrell
I'd like to thank my producer and Jesus Christ