I'm glad to see you've got religion
I'm glad to see you've gone to god
I'm glad to see you've straightened all your lines
And you've evened out your odds

I'm glad to hear you say you're happy
I'm glad to hear you say it's good
I'm glad to hear you say you're finally undoing
All the things they know we should

Me I'm still in trouble
Sorry sick and sad
Me I'm still in trouble
But that's all right 'cause I'm

Glad to see you've gotten careful
About the things you eat and drink
I'm glad to see you gotten choosy
About the things you do and think

I'm glad to see you're getting so adept
At all your mystic magic tricks
I'm glad to see you're standing on your head
And you're chopping with your sticks

I'm glad to know your psychic power
Is being put to proper use
I'm glad to know you don't discharge a drop
Of your procreative juice
Me I'm still in trouble
Sorry sick and sad
Me I'm still in trouble
But that's all right 'cause I'm

Glad to know you don't get raunchy
I'm glad to know things are at hand
I'm glad to know you have decided
This will be your last life's stand