We were up in Heaven but now we're in the mud
We fell off the wagon, you should have heard the thud
We were so superior but that was just a phase
We were high on life for fourteen boring days

Bartenders got insulted when we would insist
On ginger ale, Perrier or soda with a twist
On the airplane we were good guys and we sat where folks don't smoke
At the party they were all surprised when we turned down a toke

We kicked nicotine, caffein, alcohol and cannabis
We copped an ounce of clarity, and we scored a pound of bliss
But I kept having nightmares and you kept gaining weight
We gave in to our withdrawal pains and finally took the bait

In no time we were hooked again, suckers that we are
The life of every party and the fly in every bar
Two weeks on the wagon until we toppled off
And I got back my headaches and you got back your cough