They got drunk last night
At a knockdown, drag out fight
She was determined and he saw it his way
He threw a tantrum and she threw an ashtray
They got drunk last night
How's this for a "How do you do?"
He’s unfaithful, she's untrue
They're their own masters and they’re their own bosses
They reserve the right to employ double crosses
How's this for a fine "How do you do?"
You'd need a chair and a whip

To control their relationship
Once they were lovers and practically best friends
Now he's into bondage and she's into Revenge
You'd need a chair and a whip
And if one of them should die
I suppose that the other would cry
There would be tears of sorrow and great grief
Or else there would be tears of release and relief
If one of them should die