Well, I wonder how Suzie is doing
At the airport in old Durango
Does Suzie still work for the airlines?
I pray, one day, they let that bitch go
Susie's a big deal at the airlines
Though Durango’s airport's pretty small
She checks in and tags and handles some baggage
You can say that Sue does is all—
You can say that bitch Sue does it all

I flew into Durango from Denver
Where I ground checked my Martin guitar
Susie took it off of that aircraft
And threw it up atop a luggage car
From the airplane there on the runway
Through the window I witnessed it all
My ax hit the tarmac—I swear I heard it crack
That old dreadnaught took a dreadful fall—
My guitar took a terrible fall

So inside I showed Suzie the damage
Caused by her negligent misdeed
She denied that it even happened;
Innocent was how Suzie did plead
When I implied she was a liar
That's when Suzie made up her sick mind
Hell surely don’t hath that bitch Suzie's wrath
She was gonna kick my ass big time—
That bitch would kick my ass big time
(kick it)
(kick it again)
The next day I went back to the airport
My old six string held together with tape
Suzie was on duty that morning;
From that cold bitch I could not escape
She said, "You can't take your guitar to Texas
Because it's in a soft leather case."
"Either leave it behind or a hard case go find."
I swear Suze had a smile on her face—
That bitch had a smile on her face

Then she showed me a rule in a rulebook—
Some bs made up by the FAA
I had to leave my guitar in Durango
Have it FedExed back home to LA
I borrowed an ax down in Austin
But I swore I would right Suzie's wrong
Lawyers ain't cheap—I'm no litigious creep
So instead I wrote Suzie a song—
I wrote that bitch Suzie this song

Now I think of myself as a nice guy
Usually I'm polite, never rude
Course the bitch’s real name isn’t Suzie
'Cause I don’t wanna get my ass sued
But I wonder how Angela's doing?
That's something I'd sure like to know
Is Angie still there with her pony-tailed hair
At the airpot in old Durango—
At the airport in old Durango