I went to the doctor and the doctor said
"Hon, you look older than me and I'm eighty-one
You're falling apart and not living right"

I went to the doctor and the doctor said
"Wow, you've got to stop hanging out
With that old in crowd
Living's a battle and you're losing the fight"

I went to the doctor and the doctor said
"Oh boy, your body's a temple, it's not a toy
Fill up this here paper cup and give it to the nurse
Don't spill it now"

I went to the doctor and the doctor said
"Friend, this should be the middle
But it could be the end
You better get better or you're gonna get worse"

Oh, I went to the doctor. Yes I did
Oh, I went to the doctor

I went to the doctor and the doctor said
"Her, we got back the x-ray everything's a blur
But it's all positive, that's what every single test shows"
I went to the doctor and the doctor said
"Kid, it was something that you ate or drank
Or something that you did
It's all in your head and
It's spreadin on down to your toes"

I went to the doctor and the doctor said
"Please get on down to the drug store
And pick up some of these
And after that get on home and get into your bed"

I went to the doctor and the doctor said
"Shucks, that's just about all, you owe me four hundred bucks
You can call me in the morning
That is if you're not dead"

Oh, I went to the doctor
Oh, I went to the doctor
I don't feel so good