Loudon Wainwright III
Hell
Welcome back to hell, boy, where the heck you been?
Thought you'd get here sooner, son, due to the shape you're in
You're one sorry s.o.b., your life turned out all wrong
Welcome back to hell, boy, been away too long

Welcome back to hell, boy, heaven's out of reach
It's much hotter here than there, hence that figure of speech
No need to dread the devil though, him you don't have to fear
He spends all his time on earth, recruiting for down here

Welcome back to hell, boy, you been here before
After your last lifetime you came through this very door
You burned for an eternity - didn't last that long
Then you got another body, then again you got it all wrong

(Banjo/Mandolin Solos)

Welcome back to hell, boy, we can use another man
We're forming a softball team, that's our hellish plan
Hitler's pitchin', Stalin's catchin', ol' Pol Pot's playin' third
Milosevic'll be at short - he's quick or so we heard

Welcome back to hell, boy, no there's no turning back
You can't undo the wrong you done, you can't pick up that slack
Dante spent some time down here, Orpheus did too
Both of 'em got the hell out of here - Lord knows what'll happen to you
Welcome back to hell, boy, make yourself to home
Pick yourself a circle son, have a little roam around
Next time you get a body maybe you might take a care
But if you don't, don't worry son, because you're always welcome here