[Verse 1]
Happy family, one hand clap
Four went by and none came back
Brother Judas, ash and sack
Swallowed aphrodisiac
Rufus, Silas, Jonah too
Sang, "We'll blow our own canoes"
Poked a finger in the zoo
Punctured all the ballyhoo

[Verse 2]
Whipped the world and beat the clock
Wound up with their share of stock
Silver Rolls from golden rock
Shaken by a knock, knock, knock
Happy family, wave that grin
What goes round must surely spin
Cheesecake, mousetrap, Grytpype-Thynne
Cried out, "We're not Rin Tin Tin"

[Verse 3]
Uncle Rufus grew his nose
Threw away his circus clothes
Cousin Silas grew a beard
Drew another flask of weird
Nasty Jonah grew a wife
Judas drew his pruning knife
[Refrain]
Happy family, one hand clap
Four went on but none came back

[Instrumental]

[Verse 4]
Happy family, pale applause
Each to his revolving doors
Silas searching, Rufus neat
Jonah caustic, Jude so sweet
Let their sergeant mirror spin
If we lose the barbers win

[Refrain]
Happy family, one hand clap
Four went on but none come back