[NEIL, spoken]
You're saying—, you're saying you think you'd do a better job hosting than I would

[HUGH, spoken]
Can I be honest?

[NEIL, spoken]
Please

[HUGH, spoken]
Okay, what I'm saying is
Any show you can host I can host better

(sung)
I can host any show better than you

[NEIL]
No, you can't

[HUGH]
Yes, I can

[NEIL]
No, you can't

[HUGH]
Yes, I can
[NEIL]
No, you can't

[HUGH]
Yes, I can! Yes, I can!

Your show is how I met your mother
I'll do the show, you'll do the other
Stick to your sitcoms
Stick to your situation comedy

[NEIL]
Oh no, Hugh Jackman, no
You should know better
You were a host, or so you say
You should know better

Make 'em laugh
Make 'em laugh
Viva Laughlin did not make him laugh

[HUGH]
Any dance you can dance I can dance better
I can dance any dance better than you

[NEIL]
No, you can't
[HUGH]
Yes, I can

[NEIL]
No, you can't

[HUGH]
Yes, I can

[NEIL]
No, you can't

[HUGH]
Yes, I can! Yes, I can!

[HUGH]
Do you [?]

[NEIL]
Yes, I hear a waltz

Don't tell me not to host, I've simply gotta
Bar mitzvah or a roast, it's me and not ya
Don't bring around a cloud to rain on my para—

[HUGH]
But do you know how to ad-lib during breaks?
[NEIL, spoken]
My writers do

[HUGH]
How to deliver the ratings?

[NEIL, spoken]
—ish

[HUGH]
How to avoid running long?

[NEIL, spoken]
Huh, boy!

[HUGH]
How to acquire better gift bags?

[NEIL, spoken]
Wow, you know how to get better gift bags?

[Hugh, spoken]
Yeah

[NEIL, spoken]
Nice

[Hugh, spoken]
Yeah, stick with me kiddo

[NEIL, spoken]
Hugh Jackman you're awesome

(sung)
You're the top

[HUGH]
Eh, You're a War Horse pony
You're the top!

[NEIL]
Ah, ah, ah, ah
You, you won a Tony

[HUGH]
Eh, you're a Phantom's run

[NEIL]
Pacino's gun

[NEIL & HUGH]
[?] drop
But if, buddy, I'm the bottom
You're the top

And if you're real good
We'll make 'em feel good
We'd want your spirit to climb
So let us entertain you
And we'll have a real good time
Yes sir!
We'll have
A real good time!