[Verse:]
Love is beautiful, love is swell
Love is as sweet as a nut
Love is grander than tongue can tell
Love is remarkable but

[1st refrain:]
Look at what it did to Romeo
It dealt poor Romey an awful blow
If love could do that to Romeo
What chance have I with love?

Look at what it did to Anthony
It made a "mark" out of Anthony
If love could do that to Anthony
What chance have I with love?

Look at what it did to Samson
'Til he lost his hair he was brave
If a haircut could weaken Samson
They could murder me with a shave

Louie Number Fifteen, King of France
They say he suffered with each romance
If love kicked him in the royal pants
What chance have I
An ordinary guy
What chance have I with love?
[2nd refrain:]
Look at what it did to Adam
From that bite he could not escape
If an apple could finish Adam
They could knock me off with a grape

Miss Lucrezia Borgia, deep in sin
She poisoned her lovers when they dropped in
If they wound up with a Mickey Finn
What chance have I
An ordinary guy
What chance have I with love?

[3rd refrain:]
Look what love did for Reno
It put Reno on the map
When a woman goes to Reno
It's because some man is a sap

Tommy Manville's love is not returned
He sells asbestos and he has learned
That with asbestos he still gets burned
What chance have I
An ordinary guy
What chance have I with love?
[Alternate strain:]
Look at what it did to Bonaparte
He lost his head when he lost his heart
If he kicked over the apple cart
What chance have I
An ordinary guy
What chance have I with love?