Who do you know with a liver that's huge
A big red nose and guzzles down booze?
Drunken Santa's coming to town

He's ringing a bell and holding a cup
Playing Santa Claus beats sobering up
Drunken Santa's coming to town

He gets himself kicked out of bars
For passing deadly gas
He came with two boots leaves with three
One wedged up his ass

Dogs lift their legs to the jolly drunk elf
But he doesn't care, he pees on himself
Drunken Santa's coming to town

(instrumental)

Mommy, Mommy, can I sit on Santa's lap, please
Sure honey, go ahead
(Santa gagging and coughing)
Oh, Mommy, Santa smells. Ewwww
What do you want for Christmas?
I want to go home
(gags) But I'm Santa Claus. (Burp)
He likes to drink a six pack
And hang out at the malls
He'll give your kid a candy cane
That he used to scratch his balls

He wears a red head, black belt and a scarf
His beard should be white but it's covered with barf
Santa's gonna show up
Stagger 'round and throw up
Drunken Santa's coming to town